The courage to speak up
You might be able to relate to the idea of finding the courage to speak up. Between my personality type, and events that happened over the course of my life, I’ve never been outspoken. I realized how much this has hindered me only in the past year.
Since then, I have been working on developing my voice through working on my throat chakra. Let me begin with how I came to do this.
A story of rejection
This story is personal, but I share it in the hopes that it inspires you and helps you to use your own voice. When I was four, I was adopted by my grandparents. Without sharing the personal details of my real parents’ story and struggles (as that story is not mine to tell), suffice it to say at a very early age, I experienced the ultimate rejection: my own parents gave me up.
Now, circumstances were that my real parents wanted the best for me and gave me up to have a better life.
About four or five years later, I overheard my aunt and mom (I always call my grandmother Mom) talking about what kind of person I’d grow up to be. My aunt insisted that because I had a difficult beginning, that it was highly likely I’d grow up “to be trouble,” and that my mom shouldn’t have adopted me.
I didn’t know it then, but suddenly the reality of another possible “rejection” loomed in my mind. I never told my mother and aunt I’d overheard them. But standing in that hallway, I clenched my fists and resolved to stay out of trouble. I promised myself that I would make my parents proud of me, and never give them any reason to regret having adopted me.
Avoiding conflict as a tool
I already had a propensity to avoid conflict, but now that became a very important tool. If I didn’t speak up and I didn’t cause conflict, then chances were I wouldn’t be rejected, especially by my family. This idea was reinforced by western society: women who are outspoken aren’t to be trusted, they’re difficult, or they are mean. I didn’t want to be associated with any of those things, and so I learned to suppress my voice.
Church, Community Service, Sports
I did everything in my power to be the “good kid” – never talking back, always trying to be helpful, and never showing or expressing negative emotions – anger, bitterness, especially. Next, I became heavily involved in the church I was attending at the time, delving into numerous committees and activities.
Still, I took piano lessons, and played sports. I was Peppermint Patty, and Mrs. MacAfee in high school plays. Participated in community service projects. Advanced placement classes fueled my desire to achieve at high levels – enough to have the credits necessary to graduate a semester early from college.
There was a cost to this zealousness. I felt profound sadness and even despair at being rejected by my middle school classmates, and later by many of my high school peers. They just could not relate to the girl whose parents owned a nursing home, was “too holy” and had to stay extremely focused on being successful. I tirelessly resolved to continue on the path I’d laid out for myself. My peers not understanding this ultimately didn’t deter me.
Not outspoken and hard on myself
In not being outspoken, when other people took offense at something I did or said, I took it personally – to the point where I’d brood for days. But I’d never “address” the offended, either – out of fear. I would suppress it all. I did everything I could – subconsciously – to try to make everyone like me, to avoid rejection at all costs. It hurt that I couldn’t make most of my peers understand. And yet, I didn’t really understand all this myself back then.
In doing all this, I became relentlessly hard on myself, pushing myself when I was tired or even had strep throat numerous times.
A blocked throat chakra
Having strep throat like that, and almost always losing my voice when I had a cold were extraordinarily symbolic of my suppressed voice. As I went through my meditation teacher training in 2018, I realized that this contributed to a wholly blocked throat chakra.
The throat chakra is an energy center located at – you guessed it – the throat. Its energy color is turquoise.
The developed throat chakra
If you have a developed throat chakra, you are a masterful communicator – both verbally and non-verbally. You know your purpose. You are a creator (in the arts). You are also a good listener.
An open throat chakra allows you to speak your truth, albeit in a way that is inviting, and not hurtful. This is also the “gateway chakra” to eliciting the rise of kundalini, the “coiled serpent” of energy that rises from the base of the spine and flows up to the crown chakra.
A blocked throat chakra
If you don’t have an open throat chakra, you might talk a lot, but you don’t say a lot of things that are truly meaningful, or you might not listen well. Silence makes you nervous, and so you over-compensate by talking more. (I recognize myself here in that I used to be more like this.)
A blocked throat chakra means that you might have issues with your throat or mouth: thyroid disease, mouth sores or dental issues, loss of your voice when experiencing a cold. Other symptoms include acceptance in telling lies or participating in gossip. There’s a chance that you have trouble expressing yourself adequately – in either being too harsh with words, or in underutilizing them. A blocked throat chakra inhibits you from expressing yourself when you feel that someone has done you wrong.
Developing the courage to speak up
I only became more aware of the throat chakra through my teacher training, but also with the self-awareness that develops through an established meditation practice. I became aware of my fears, and my own ego that felt threatened by conflict.
I set to work to open my throat chakra.
What can you do to open your throat chakra?
Join a Toastmasters Club
For the past six months, I have been learning to speak in front of people and set aside the judgment I might feel as a result. I’m becoming more skilled at speaking and communicating. In fact, I recently went and told a true story at a local venue to the theme, “love hurts.”
Meditate (of course!)
You can meditate on opening your chakras. You can find specific throat chakra music or guided meditations online.
Chanting
Related to meditating, is chanting. The word “hum” aligns with the energy of the throat chakra. You can repeat this as a mantra in meditation (only) or adopt into your daily life as an affirmation and “hum” it to yourself as you go about your day.
Sing
Singing, in general, is good for you. All people are drawn to music in a way that resonates more powerfully than spoken speech. It’s also a great way to help open your throat chakra. So sing your heart out!
Use your voice
If you know you will need to use your voice in a situation, practice beforehand. A mirror works great for rehearsing. Practice can help you come up with a diplomatic and helpful way of saying things, rather than coming across as crass or hurtful.
Wear more turquoise hues
When you wear a certain color, that amplifies the energy of that particular chakra color. In the past few years, I’ve worn A LOT of purple and I feel intensely spiritual. But now it’s time to develop the throat chakra.
Drink and eat more liquids
Drinking more water or tea, in addition to eating foods with higher water content can also help cleanse and activate the throat chakra.
Listen to a guided meditation
As I mentioned before, you can find these around the internet. However, I’ll create a “part 2” to this post and create a throat chakra meditation for next week.
References:
The Throat Chakra
Speak Your Inner Truth with the Fifth Chakra
8 Powerful Ancient Practices for Supercharging and Healing Your Throat Chakra
Throat Chakra – Visuddha
7 Ways to Balance Your Throat Chakra
Throat Chakra – The Fifth Chakra
Dear Cynthia,
I was enthralled as I watched your video “Blind Date for Prom – Love Hurts”. I would have never known that you have even the slightest
anxiety with public speaking. And ‘fuey’ on Ron – oh, if he could see you now …!!!!!
Turquoise becomes you. And for the record, I love what you (and your throat) have to say!
Happy snowy Monday! Have a peaceful week. Love, Maria
Sweet Mar! Ha ha, I’m really glad that you enjoyed that video. The public speaking peace is getting much easier, I will say. And Ron, well, his loss, right? Kidding. I am so fortunate to have the love of my life walking by my side everyday. My Juanito is such a gift to me into the world.
I could say that turquoise becomes you, as well. Oh heck, I’m sure you look dazzling in all the colors. Hehe. Thank you for being a good listener. I know that your throat chakra is developed, what with your musical posts, and your listening skills.
Happy Monday to you. I also wish you a peaceful week. xoxo
Crazy Monday here as my girls have a delayed opening with getting a small amount of snow overnight. So, playing a bit of catch up while they eat breakfast right about now. That said, you my friend are amazingsauce!!! Seriously, I hope you know that now through and through as I am truly proud to call you a friend. Also, love the idea of finding one’s Thraot Chakra as I think you know I have started doing YouTube vidoes in the last month or so. Even though I was a teacher and clearly never had trouble speaking in front of the kids, I still was never a big public speaker by any means. So, I shied away from video with blogging and more over the years. So, this new adventure is taking me a bit out of my own comfort zone. While I am not sure where it will lead me, I am hopeful that it will get me indeed more comfortable speaking in front of the camera and publically now at the very least. Hugs and Happy Monday now xoxo <3
Sweet Janine, happy Monday! Did you end up getting a lot of snow? I’ve got the girls really enjoyed their delay. I always loved those two hour delays. Just enough time to sleep in a little bit more, have a nice breakfast, and maybe even finish some homework that I didn’t quite finish the night before. I love your new word, too. “Amazingsauce.” Ima have to use that.
You, too, are developing your throat chakra I see. Creating videos compels us to hone in and utilize our voice. Good for you. I’m not a big public speaker myself. But so much practice in front of groups, and it really just becomes another skill to develop. But getting out of your comfort zone is a good thing. It will push you and help you grow. Haha. And it will only be good for your website. This I know. I also know that if you become a good speaker, incredible things really start to happen. I promise. You go, girl. 🙂
Thanks for sharing your story and being vulnerable Cynthia. And kudos on learning to stand in your power, express yourself and do a damn good job with public speaking. As Maria stated, you seem so comfortable with the performance. Yay!
Brad, thank you for your words of wisdom. I could say the same to you, as well. That post you did on Sunday really spoke to me. Funny, it has to do with being true to ourselves and using our voices, doesn’t it? I’m getting better at the public speaking thing. As I said in another comment, it’s really just another skill that you learn to develop. After a while, it becomes old hat. As for the blind date for prom performance, it really helped that the spotlight made it so that I could not see anyone! Haha. It was easy to imagine I was just talking to the wall in my living room. Ha! In any case, sending you hugs and big smiles. Wishing you a wonderful week. Here’s to embracing our power.
Thanks Cynthia. I’m glad we can inspire and support each other.
Exactly, Brad! Glad you’re on the journey as well!
Yay!
This was a wonderful place for me to start. This is one I struggle with also. I loved your talk and you tell the story so well. Everyone was listening and really enjoying the talk and you entertained them while telling a hard story for you. You are a good storyteller. I’ve been working for several years on speaking my truth. I was brought up not to speak at all. So I do hear you. Thank you for sharing this. I’m going to be going out of order but I’ll try and get as many as possible of the missed posts. Have a wonderfilled week.
Marlene, great to see you ’round these parts, and that the commenting system is working. You know, I thought of you as I was writing this. I sort of had this feeling that you would be by to talk about the throat chakra stuff. Speaking truth. Because you are also a great storyteller. The stories you share about your childhood and about your sister are so compelling and really fun to read. I’d say you are well on your way to developing your voice, even if it hasn’t always been easy. There is a power about you, my friend. You are a wonderful creator, you have a gift of relating your experiences to the world that would compel us to read. And never worry about when you get here or what order or when you can comment. Please always just know that I’m so happy to see you. I know that you have a lot going on, and so it is a great honor to me that you are able to take time to stop by. I wish you a wonderfilled week as well. Sending you hugs.
A fascinating story, Lil Sis! Thanks so much for sharing it. I’m a bit different, although we both have similarities. I was different for sure, growing up, the shy kid who was picked on and considered to be a bit strange…but my dad demanded that I stand up for the respect I was due…so I spent a lot of my childhood fighting for that respect, and I do mean fighting. Bruises and scrapes were my badges of honor as a kid. It’s just the way it was. I was shy but I was determined to be heard.
Today I let my accomplishments speak for themselves, but more importantly, today I respect myself and I don’t worry too much about what others are thinking about me. It’s made all the difference in my search for happiness.
Hugs coming atcha on this chilly March morn!
Big Bro, ha ha, I’m breaking out my storyteller skills from the cobwebbed closet. I do love telling a good story as much as hearing a good story. Hmm, You actually gave me an idea about something. I swear my brain never stops. It’s a good thing I meditate, because if I didn’t I would be going a thousand miles an hour in a 10-mile-an-hour zone. Ha!
You being the shy kid who was picked on, what else were you supposed to do? Just “take” the lack of respect? No, you would do what anyone with some self-dignity would do. You fought for your honor. Nothing wrong with that. But that last bit, “I was determined to be heard.” That right there. That’s you finding your voice.
Your accomplishments DO speak for themselves. And it is evident that you have much self-respect. Before learning to meditate so much, I was much more worried about what people thought of me. And now, learning about some compassion, self-love, and self-respect, I am learning to stand in my own power. I feel a little like “Stands With a Fist” and that movie, “Dances with Wolves.” I love that movie. I don’t think there is a limit to how many times I could watch it. I’ve even read the novel two or three times. So many lessons. So much symbolism. And real history.
In any case, I wish you a wonderful week. You are an incredible human being. Never forget that.
What an absolutely beautiful journey to learn about, Cynthia. Thank you for your courage in sharing, and your beautiful example in moving into and out of old fears and old stories. You’re a gift to us all.
Chaní! OMigosh! So incredible to see you, sweet friend. Another soul with whom I am so glad to have intersected. You’re on a beautiful journey yourself! I’m so glad to share in it with you! Aw, friend! Thank you for coming by and for saying hello. Thank you for recognizing the courage this took, as well. There were moments when I hesitated. But then I thought that perhaps there’s someone out there, on a computer who is reading and…this helps her to speak her voice. Ah, I am still learning. But I’m working at it, day by day. YOU, TOO, are a gift, sweet friend! And what a gift it was to see your comment! Sending you BIG HUGS! xoxo
Aaaah I’m still so proud of you doing that speech! And for always, ALWAYS speaking up about what’s important to you. And for sharing something so personal and inspiring here… yay! 🙂 And for doing public speaking classes. ALL. of. it. Sending big hugs across the pond and can’t wait to catch up more this week. <3 xxx
Ah, Melanie! Hehe…It’s taken me a bit to get back here to comment. It’s been a busy week. But I wish you a great Sunday/Monday! Now…I will say that you’re right. If something means a lot to me, I will speak up about it. The story here WAS personal. In fact, before they called me up I started to think, “you know, maybe I shouldn’t share this with the world,” haha. But I knew, in the end, my mom would get a kick out of it, so I pressed on. As for the public speaking piece, I’m getting better. It’s definitely out of my comfort zone when there are plenty of times I think it would be better to hibernate in my casa, but…my higher calling pushes me. Not always easy, but…I suppose it’s necessary. 🙂 Sending you the biggest hugs, sweet friend! I hope you’re well in your neck of the woods.