Why change how you look at stress?
There is mounting evidence that if you can change how you look at stress, it has the potential to affect your health in positive ways. This is not endorsing a “think positive” mentality. Rather, it’s about looking at stress differently and how that can positively affect your health.
Traditional view
You see it all the time. “Stress is the number one killer,” or “Stress is the contributing factor to heart disease or stroke.” You read about stress hormones such as cortisol or adrenaline, and their role in people getting sick or having panic attacks.
Society buys into it for various reasons. Perhaps it’s the scientific research that backs up many of these claims. (They’re not wrong.) You often hear stories on the news that corroborate this perspective.
Certainly when stressful events happen in life, you don’t always feel good about them. There is good stress, sometimes, such as getting married or landing a job. There’s the bad stress: a forgotten deadline, being in a car crash, having an argument with a colleague or partner, to name a few.
Mindset
Your mindset determines how you deal with the stress in your life. It determines how we cope with a lot of things, really.
[bctt tweet=”Your mindset determines how you deal with the stress in your life.” username=”n2itvnspiritual”]
Perhaps you deal with stress by raiding the cabinets and seeking comfort food. Some people bite their nails. Others clam up and nearly stop functioning all together. Others might go out and get exercise. Some meditate or get a massage.
The way you look at things matters
Why all the variation in how people deal with their stress?
It’s all in how people think about it. Some people view it as something to be avoided as much as possible. When they encounter it, they try to mitigate through eating, indulging an addictive habit, not dealing with the problem at all, or engaging in other self-destructive behaviors.
Other people view stress as a challenge. When life’s challenges happen, they tackle the events with an arsenal of tools. They deal with the problem head-on, and then release that stress in healthy ways.
Kelly McGonigal on making stress your friend
Adopt a new view
It’s the people who view stress as an ongoing challenge, rather than an ongoing problem that live longer and lead more healthful lives. This is the stuff of grit and tolerance when it comes to life’s ups and downs.
There are studies that show how people who view stress as a challenge, have better overall health. Often, it doesn’t matter how much stress. If they feel equipped to rise to the challenge, they’ll do it without suffering negative health consequences.
Rethinking stress
The people who view stress as a challenge perhaps learned that skill somewhere along the marathon of life. They might have always thought this way. However, there are those who have to learn and adopt this skill later on. I did.
By changing the paradigm, by changing the thought processes, you can improve your well-being and health. The first way to do that is to start thinking about stress as “hurdles to be overcome on a racetrack.” You can train for them and learn to jump over them more easily. You can develop the tools and stamina to overcome them.
It’s all about the “growth mindset.”
Put it in perspective
Next, think about the grand scheme of life. Can you recall a specific problem on this day five years ago? Can you predict what you’ll be doing in five years?
Over the span of ten years, you’ll face many daily challenges, but most do not come up on your radar after the fact. Nor is there a way to really predict what obstacles you’ll face later on.
From that perspective, you can tell yourself that you already possess all the internal tools and necessary skills to face whatever challenges that come your way – you certainly have up to this point. You’ll come out on the other side wiser and better-able to deal with any obstacle.
Adopt mindfulness
To be sure, mindfulness and meditation certainly help with stress levels. It’s a documented fact. Slower breathing naturally stimulates the relaxation response in the body. The more you do it, the more it helps.
Separate yourself
Meditation can also help you to “become an observer.” There is the “you” that’s thinking the thoughts, and the “you” that is watching yourself think those thoughts. The latter “you” is the one who can help yourself detach from challenges and obstacles and see them as something that will pass.
And well, I can help with that.
Exercise
Once you’ve done the mental work, you can begin to find other ways of helping to manage stress in your life.
To be sure, anytime your heart rate goes up due to a stressful event – such as encountering turbulence in a jet plane – it’s important to release that energy so that it doesn’t build up.
Going for a walk, taking a run, getting out in nature, playing a sport are all great ways of redirecting that energy that builds up.
Find other healthy ways to release that energy
Everyone has a way that they like to help release stress. You probably already know what it is. No, getting on a screen to play video games does not reduce stress in healthy ways. It can contribute to it.
Some ideas if you need some include reading a book, journal writing, being creative, listening to calming music, spending time with animals, meeting family or friends who energize you, and more.
How do you cope with stress? What are your favorite ways to deal with it?
I honestly never thought to look at stress the ways you laid out above. But I think the concept of working out to deal with it as at least you are doing something somewhat healthy and dealing with stress by not doing something that is counter-productive. So, I think I am going to ty to give that a go now. At the very least maybe I will lose a few pounds and feel a bit healthier in the process. So thank you for the motivation. Happy Monday once again and sending many hugs back you way now xoxo <3
Janine – hey, hey! You know, until I came across that video, I didn’t look at stress as a positive thing, either. But it makes sense: we ARE equipped to handle all of life’s challenges if we give ourselves a chance and think of it all as a challenge. I love that. A paradigm shift. 🙂 And I love releasing stress in the way of “working out” too – it is a great way to release those stress hormones to keep them from building up. And dawling, don’t forget that you already are beautiful, you’re enough, and that you are awesome!! Thank you for coming by! xoxo
How we frame our experiences has a great impact on how we feel and respond. Good tips Cynthia. I reduce stress with nature, reading, and sometimes play. To making friends with challenges.
Brad – I so agree! Once I started doing that, I have felt differently in my approach to handling stress. When I feel a “moment” coming on, I remember how I’m actually equipped to deal with all of life’s challenges. I’m like you, though, in that I need to spend time outside, reading, and sometimes playing, too. And yes, cheers to making friends with life’s challenges. lol. Have a great week!
Thanks Cynthia.
🤩🤩🤩
Dear Cynthia,
I tend to thrive on stress. Perhaps I’ve stopped fighting it and embrace it now.
After I develop my strategy, I strive not to dwell on the “content” of the stress.
My fur buddy, Andy, is my best partner in reminding me of the beauty and joy in life
through his eyes. And you know music is included in my stress-busting as well.
Great message in this post – thank you. Love and hugs, Maria
Mar – you know, this doesn’t surprise me. You’re a nurse and you’re someone who would have a real insider’s look at how to handle constant stress. I love this: “after I develop my strategy, I strive not to dwell on the ‘content’ of the stress.” I would love to know more about your particular strategy – I think you’d have some keen insights. 🙂
I love my fur kids, too! They all make me smile, no matter what. They’re incredible beings with the power to make everything better. And of course, music is a great way to help relieve stress. Yup, yup!! Thank you for your thoughts and wisdom, sweet Mar. Sending you hugs and wishes for a wonderful week!
I’ve said before that Bev is a stress machine while I am the opposite. I worry about her. Stress is a killer, and I really want her to outlive me…so the work continues, Lil Sis, in improving her approach to life as well as maintaining that which I have found. Cross your fingers. 🙂
Wishing, for you, peace and relaxation this week and beyond. Hugs from beautiful Olympia!
Big Bro, I remember you saying that about Bev. I can relate. This is part of why meditation is so big in my life. You have always been calm. This is one of the most charming things about your personality! Tell Bev to watch that video, hehe. From one “born worrier” to the next, I understand where Bev is coming from. And I know she’ll also be all right. 🙂
Wishing you BOTH peace and relaxation this week. Hugs from across the Great Divide! 🙂
This post is so important in this day and age of do more, more, more! Realizing that stress is temporary and finding ways to simplify life are also helpful. Thank you! <3 <3
@reikigemjewelry – hey there! WordPress tells me your name is Shannon. Thank you for coming back! I love the work you do and your blog is beautiful! Thank you for your thoughts and wisdom. 🙂 Stress IS temporary; it always passes. Simplifying is helpful, too. I hope you have a great week!
Yes, I’m Shannon. Thank you so much for sharing such wonderful healing wisdom! <3
Haha. Nice to meet you, Shannon. And well, sometimes I’m a bit delayed in getting back to comments, but I always will. 💖
Again Cynthia another important post which shows us that its our ‘belief system’ which is paramount in contributing to our health.. Show how we utilise our thoughts and feelings have a direct impact upon our bodies.
I have been watching a lot of Dr. Joe Dispenza’s talks on Quantum Physics and it is again the belief behind the thought that can either heal or make us ill.
As you know Meditation became a tool in the beginning to de-stress from work.. Then it became a way of life..
Without those breathing techniques and focusing inward I doubt I could cope with the knowledge I have uncovered about the deception of this world and those running it had I not been mindful and allowed myself to become the observer, rather than take on board all that hurt as we view life from this 3D perspective.
Only by detaching and seeing that we are far more than our bodies and seeing ourselves upon our soul level can I see what we as a species are doing to ourselves.. And that means learning to breatheeeee…. And let all you think is important Go…
Taking myself off out into Nature is the most natural de=stress button I know… 🙂 For Nature absorbs and soothes and smooths out all of those wrinkles if we breathe deep and allow Gaia in..
Nothing nicer than go kicking fallen dried leaves this time of year Cynthia.. I did that with my Granddaughter yesterday… It was an inset day, an extra day of her half term before she went back to school today.. 🙂 It did us both good..
Sending HUGE hugs my friend.. And Yeahhhhh… I am early for once on your post.. Hahaha..
Take care my friend…
Love Sue <3 Oh and PS…. LOVED the video.. <3 <3
Sweet Sue, it is pretty incredible to me how much our mind and thoughts really matter when it comes to our existence. I don’t think people, or even myself, truly understand just how powerful we are. Our are like little things. And what we radiate, really can speak to what we cultivate in our lives. I love your suggestions on different people to read about or investigate further. When I get a chance, I’ll check out Dr. Dispenza. Ever since watching some videos on Chopra and quantum physics, I have really intrigued.
I also agree completely with meditation as a tool. There are people in my life who have anxiety and need other tools in addition to meditation, in order to calm their anxious tendencies. But I think that meditation is perhaps one of the most important tools that we have, in general. I think at some point we can supersede, or overcome, our earthly emotions with enough meditation, and practice. I don’t know what point that is exactly, but I do feel like it can change everything.
There is so much wisdom in those ancient texts of the far east. The idea of attachment, being an observer, letting go, being still, embracing silence, embracing solitude, and following a moral code are all significant. I think they can lead us from living a normal human life to one that is extraordinary.
I’m with you on the nature part, too. I had a chance to get out and nature last week and it was exactly what I needed. I hope that you have had a chance to be out in the autumn garden plots, and have had fun with your granddaughter.
Sending you huge hugs back, and thank you for your words of wisdom on my post. I will talk to you soon,XOXOX
Dear Cynthia, thank you,
I have had my own Meditation Fest this week.. and really enjoyed my time out from technology and WordPress ..
My thoughts are with you today, I sent you a short email..
As to your question, Yes the allotment all dug and things put to bed which need protecting, and I spent some quality time with our granddaughter..
Sending continued love and thoughts your way my dear friend.. Take care..
Love Sue <3
Sue – a meditation fest!? I NEED ME SUMMA THAT! Hehe. I really – especially of late – have been thinking that I need some sort of retreat. I might have to sign up for one of those 10-day Vipassana retreats I keep hearing about. I also just read your email. After being gone and really only having time to record the video, I am catching up on comments and emails. I am feeling the love! Thank you!!
I’m so glad you’re spending this time with your granddaughter. She’s going to remember you as someone special, who’s involved, and who cares so much.
Sending you love right back. Thank you. I am walking with Spirit and feel healing taking place. xo
Cynthia you have my continued healing thoughts dear friend, and I left you a couple of longish comments on the last two posts of mine you commented on.. I know you do not always get updates when I reply..
And yes our granddaughter is special.. and a gift.. I hope to try and teach her some of my ways.. When she has a sleep over she always asks me to send her to sleep with a meditation visualisation .. And I taught her the chant you shared with me the Sa Ta Na Ma chant with the finger exercises.. she often does that.. <3
Mega Hugs and rest up and tune out when able.. and there is no rush to read the comments either… Spirit ARE with you.. <3
Sweet Sue – thank you! For your well-wishes, for your comments, for your love. You are incredible. I saw your post today (and belatedly returning comments) and I just loved that video, “The Perfect Relationship.” I’m supposed to give a speech that I haven’t practiced at Toastmasters this Thursday and I might have to have it be a response to that. I wish I had time to compose a poem like that, but that is on my to-do list for sometime in the near-future. 🙂
The fact that your granddaughter is asking for meditation visualizations – ah…you’re doing something right! She’s going to grow up with love and compassion as part of her daily life. If all children did that, as the Dalai Lama has said, we’d have world peace within a generation.
The Sa Ta Na Ma chant, from what I’ve researched is really good for kiddos to learn. It’s also great for older folks as it can help with memory. 🙂
Sending you more hugs, too. The big bear-y kind. Hehe. I hope you’ve had a wonderful week.
Stress…. welll
I agree with what you, (in your post) and the others, (in their comments) suggest in terms of ways one can use perspective to change an ‘all negative’ into a ‘somewhat negative, mostly positive’ experience.
Stress is a funny thing. (Over at the Doctrine, you’ll see references to stress as being “Fear’s sorta slutty, yet attractive and smart-as-a-whip half-sister” I think what they’re getting at is the idea that ‘stress is us’ or better, stress is a potential expression of something inherent in all people. It kinda makes me think, stress is sorta living the opposite of ‘mindfulness.’ We seize the past and borrow from the future and convince ourselves we have no choice but to try and force our problems to submit. Hardly ever works out as we’d like.)
As always, an interesting post that includes concrete, positive ideas*
*well, in a sense, an idea can be thought of as being concrete…. right? lol
Clark, your comments and posts never fail to amuse me. Stress is a funny thing. But I really like your description here. I chuckled a few times rereading it. Stress is the opposite of mindfulness ha ha. Indeed, we seize the past and borrow from the future. True and wise words. And the more we try to control things, the more our own lives seem to feel out of control. I thoroughly enjoyed your concrete, positive thoughts. Concrete as in a real, tangible idea.lol
Aaaah my friend, what a great post and a reminder about stress and choosing to see it as a challenge, rather than a problem. If only we could all lead stress-free lives, but having these tools, like meditation, exercise and mindfulness really help. I’ve just got back into exercising again and I’ve started using an online fitness subscription to keep me motivated and offer variety. That’s going to be a massive help in the new year once things get back to busy. Thanks for your light always, sending hugs across the pond! x
Melanie – thank you so much! I do try to see stress in this way: as a challenge. I do try to see it as a challenge. Not always easy, but something I strive for. 🙂
Got back into exercising? That’s great! I know that I need to get back into that. I have been working so hard on my meditation course that soon I will return to a normal routine.
Are you doing anything for the New Year? I wish you the happiest of New Years. 😉 Thank YOU for your light. xoxo