Be zen in a high speed world and find the calm
It’s not so easy when you have thirty million things coming at you, to be zen in a high speed world. Everything from smartphone notifications, relentless emails, difficult colleagues or work situations, back to back meetings, deadlines, appointments to keep, grocery shopping, and trying to fit everything in, can make it really difficult to find a balance.
Daily pressures build up and we have to find a way to release them.
A Zen master story
I use the Insight Timer app to time my meditations. I’m also part of several groups that share in mindfulness wisdom. In the Taoist Alchemy/Spiritual Taoism group, one of the members shared a Zen master story. I haven’t been able to find it anywhere else online where I could link to it.
I’ll retell it in my own words because it illustrates the idea of “calm” perfectly:
A Zen master went to a dinner party. Shortly after everyone began eating, an earthquake occurred. Everyone except the Zen master scurried away, attempting to get to the ground level, as they were all on the seventh floor of the building.
The host of the party had started down several flights of stairs when he noticed that the master wasn’t coming. Despite his fears of the building collapsing, he climbed the stairs and returned to his apartment to find the master. The Zen master was at the table, sitting with his eyes closed, in silence.
The man tried to get the master to leave. “The building is not stable. We must leave!”
The Zen master shook his head.
The stillness within…
“Tell me, Master. How are you so calm?”
“Whereas you tried to find calmness by escaping outside, I tried to find calmness by escaping inside. I went within. I went to my center.”
The master continued, “When you awaken, you know that nothing that happens in the world ‘out there’ can affect the world ‘in here’,” he said, pointing to his heart. “The stillness within cannot be shaken.”
My meditation practice
I’ll never forget the day when a friend of mine pulled me aside and asked me my “secret.” She wanted to know how I remained so calm in a work situation where she witnessed my “zen.” (That was a turning point for me, by the way. A signal that perhaps I needed to teach this to others.)
At the time, I had a student who needed a band-aid, I was directing college-aged tutors and volunteers who needed to know where to go and what to do, a parent was calling my phone, visitors from the state were assessing the program I was directing, I had a training I was conducting after the program ended that day, and several other things were happening at once.
I didn’t even have to think before responding, “It’s my meditation practice.”
That is the single biggest thing I can recommend to anyone and everyone who wants to learn to find their calm.
Remembering to breathe
It’s my practice that makes me turn to the breath – automatically – when I’m faced with a stressful situation.
Flat tires. Computer crashes. Bad news from the family. A dying friend. An illness. No place to stay when traveling on the road. Running out of money. So many stressful events happen!
Instead of the shallow breathing most experience as a result of the fight or flight response, I try to stimulate its opposite: the relaxation response.
It takes a regular practice of mindfulness and meditation to learn how to remember to breathe when life isn’t agreeable. It’s very difficult to stop the fight or flight response once it has begun. The brain triggers the release of multiple hormones that course through the bloodstream; the heart, lungs, and even the eyes prepare for survival mode.
But if you can mitigate that response and help yourself by taking deep breaths. Count to ten. Purse your lips. Breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth.
Breathing deeply helps you to be zen in a high speed world.
Label your feelings
Something that might be useful is when you feel a certain way, and become aware of it, label it.
If you think, “I don’t want to feel this way!” and try to will it away, things only get worse. There’s that saying, “what you resist, persists.”
You have to stop for a moment. Label what you’re feeling:
“Huh. I feel jittery. Hello, jittery feeling. I feel you. I acknowledge you.”
Labeling your feelings is magic. It allows you to be in the moment and essentially accept that this is what is happening right now. It gives you the space to acknowledge and not resist.
Then, when you feel better, you can label that, too. “I think the moment is passing. I feel more calm.”
Acceptance isn’t “just taking it.” Acceptance is the peace you get from allowing yourself to feel what you feel so you can get past it.
[bctt tweet=”Breathing deeply helps you to be zen in a high speed world.” username=”n2itvnspiritual”]
Become the moment
Anxiousness sets in when you start thinking about the mile-long to-do list, the pressures you’re facing to follow through on hundreds of tasks, trying to meet others’ expectations, or any number of things.
What if you brought your mind out of all that and brought yourself into this moment, right now?
For most of the moments in your life, you are just fine. You’re not being attacked, you’re breathing, you’re heart is beating, you’re existing right here, right now.
Though this moment has already passed by the time you read this, and the next moment is arriving, only to find itself in the past, the truth is, this moment is all we have.
Make it mindful
To help yourself become the moment, make it mindful. This allows you to go within.
If you’re reading this right now, become are of everything that is…right now: how you’re sitting, how you’re breathing.
Let go of the extraneous thoughts and focus them on this moment. What do you see or hear? What do you feel with your fingers? How are your eyes moving?
Do you need to scratch an itch? Become aware of how your arm is moving toward the itch. How do your fingers move to scratch? Where does your hand go after scratching? It might return to your lap, or the desk, or to the keyboard.
Become aware of the subtleties of the moment
Bring your awareness to how you’re holding your head, your shoulders, your legs. Uncross your feet if they’re crossed. Just breathe for a moment.
It’s a matter of allowing your mind to slow down enough to absorb what’s going on in real time.
In reality, real time is all we have. It’s in real time that we can be zen in a high speed world, through mindfulness, through labeling, through meditation, through breathing.
Yes, to all of the above, especially remembering to breathe as I will say this one really also does wonders for me. So, I appreciate the reminder and all your wonderful advice on how to be more zen here today. Hugs and wishing you a wonderful week ahead. I am busy right now myself getting ready to head back to Disney this Friday through next week with my family and most likely be offline next week. But just had to stop by to wish you not only a good week this week, but also an early Happy Thanksgiving next week, too! Hugs xoxo <3
Janine, yes indeed! As the holidays start to come up, go ahead and breathe. I feel like being a parent, especially when it comes to upholding traditions and trying to do everything around the holidays that seems to be required, it’s especially important to take a step back and allow yourself to just breathe. I’m sure today you’re busily either getting ready to travel or are already on your way to Florida. I wish you safe travels, and plenty of time to decompress and just spend with the family. Not sure if extended family is going as well, but either way enjoy a very happy Thanksgiving. Sending big hugs,xoxo
I needed to read this today. I am starting a regular meditation practice and this has helped get me ready. thanks!
Diana, so great to see you! I am thrilled to know that you enjoyed this post, and even more thrilled that you are beginning a practice of meditation. If you’re not careful it just might change your life. Hehe. For the better, that is. Great to meet you over on twitter, and great to see you here, too. I hope you have a great week!
More lovely reminders Cynthia. Following my breath and mindfulness are great tools to Zen out…
Brad, thank you for your insights and comments. It’s not surprising that you are one to follow the breath and use mindfulness in your life. And I’m going to have to use that: “Zen out.” That’s perfect. I hope you had a great week, and I wish you a wonderful upcoming week and holiday ahead.
I love it, Lil Sis! You use different words to describe what I have found within myself. November 16th is an important date for me. It is the date, twelve years ago, when I began on a path of inner peace. I am infinitely closer to it today than I was then, and for that I am grateful.
Peace be with you, and hugs always, my friend.
Big Bro, after a week of open houses, high school expos, and preparation for the holiday rush of education, I am a wee bit pooped, and getting back to my comments a little later than I usually do. I know that you’ll understand that, having been a teacher. Ha ha
But something that I have always recognized in you is that you have an inner calm that others notice. I am also sure that you really help to keep Bev calm, too. The more I meditate, and the more I practice, the less anxious I am. I hope to achieve a level of permanent calmness one day.
Congrats on this important anniversary for you. May it always continue to be a path of inner peace. I am proud to know you. I’m proud to know someone who has persevered despite long odds, and came out the other side absolutely successful. I am grateful for you, as well.
Peace be with you, as well. Sending hugs from the great divide.
Ha ha! I think the Internet “ate” my previous comment. I submitted it while I was having a minor outage. And I had just been talking about taking a technology break – I guess the technology does not agree 🙂 What spoke to me most in your post was labeling our feelings. Many people have lost connection with the felt body and can no longer identify “why” they feel a certain emotion. So being able to return to the body, FEEL the actual emotion, and be able to describe how that emotion feels and manifests in our body is so important! Fantastic post – one I will bookmark and read over again! <3 <3
Shannon, I apologize that the Internet ate your comment. I checked my spam folder just to be sure your comment didn’t land there unexpectedly. Alas, it didn’t. But I do appreciate you taking the time to write another. I really need to schedule a tech break. I took a mini one this past Sunday. I closed the laptop and for most of the day, I did not look at my computer.
I am also very glad that you were able to get something out of this post. I myself am going through a few things at the moment, and that “labeling feelings” feature is really helpful. It really helps to put things in perspective. It’s true, that being able to return to the body and feel the emotion is what we need to let ourselves do. Thank you so much for your kind words and comments, and I hope you’ve had a great week. Sending you big hugs, Cynthia
As did many of the other commentationers, the naming strategy definitely resonated with me.
(Naturally, being a clark, while I find staying in the here and now difficult, I had a information shoebox moment, a reference to ‘the Law of Names’ which lead to, of all things, the fairy tale involving Rumplestiltskin! lol so, yeah, I totally believe in the power of naming to reduce stress and dis-balance.*)
Since I encounter fear and anxiety on a fairly frequent basis, knowing (and/or believing) that neither can exist in the here-and-now helps a whole bunch.
Thanks for the thought-engendering post… always fun to follow paths that I might not otherwise have stumbled across.
*not a ‘real’ word, but kinda sounds right for those time when you have a tendency to fall up or sideways.
Dear Clark, it makes me smile that the naming strategy is something that resonated with you. It makes me wonder if it is a “Clark” thing, because I prefer to do that, too. And I, too, find that here and now is more challenging (though less often now with meditation) than living in the future. I think that, too, is a clark tendency.
Yes, in this moment, all is well, no? This moment is the one that is salient and present, where only whatever is happening right now is right now.
Thoughts engendered! 🙂 Indeed! And by the way, I often do “fall up!” Haha!
“Label your feelings” is so powerful, Cyndi! You’re right on target with that and it’s great to read more about your meditative practice here. Excellent share over on LinkedIn, sis xo
Christy – ah yes…I love the labeling. It just acknowledges that which wishes to be acknowledged. 🙂 But by doing so, we give it less power. Thank you so much for coming by, sweet friend! I hope you’ve had a wonderful day! And thank you for the feedback on LinkedIn, too! 🙂
Thank you Cynthia.
Of course. 🙂
Yes, yes, yes!! Your post couldn’t have come at a better time… even if it’s things that we know we should be doing, we forget. I do, at least – when life gets stressful and it feels like there’s a million things to do. BREATHE. Just breathe. Be in the now. I’m trying to make a conscious effort to do more of that. I’ve found that being too ambitious (as great as dreaming is), has caused a lot of unnecessary overwhelm this past year. So, one thing at a time – even if that means the pace is a little slower than I’d like. It’s better. Calmer. ZEN! I LOVE what you said about acknowledging the feelings, like anxiety, etc. Pushing it aside and pretending it doesn’t exist, really does make it worse. Own it, feel it, move past. Thanks for such a great reminder my friend! xxx
Melanie – aww, thank you for your sweet, sweet comment. I often have a “million things to do” and though it just takes a second, taking time to breathe really helps to calm us and put things in perspective. I’m guilty of being too ambitious, so I know of what you speak. Hehe. I am remembering that it’s about taking small steps and being careful not to “bite off” more than I can chew. And acknowledging the feelings is so important…That helps so much to not push them aside, but instead to embrace them for what they are and then begin the process of letting them go. 🙂
I am a week late again in reading this Cynthia.. But i agree with all you have said..
This last week while I have deliberately set aside space to go deeper within my meditations, I have never felt so at peace or still, and empowered all at the same time.. I feel another shift has occurred within me. One that has brought more inner Peace and strength..
I needed to escape the noise of the outer world.. So the Zen Master story spoke perfectly of this..
““When you awaken, you know that nothing that happens in the world ‘out there’ can affect the world ‘in here’,” he said, pointing to his heart. “The stillness within cannot be shaken.”
I just needed to reaffirm this within my self.. And I have emerged more joyous and peaceful as a result..
Sending much love your way dear Cynthia..
Know my heart is with you in your time of grieving..
Love and Blessings..
Sue <3
Sue – ah, no worries – ever – about when you get over here. I know that we respond to each other when the Spirit moves us, when the time is right, and when we have a moment to really ponder and respond thoughtfully. All that takes some time. 🙂
If you so feel moved, I would love to read about your meditations and your journey recently. I think it would be so powerful – but only if you want to. I so love your thoughts and musings about all this. They inspire me so.
There is so much noise, isn’t there? Before I left the house on Saturday to flight through the airports at one of the busiest times of the year, I smudged. (You probably remember from the video, hehe). It helped me so much. I felt shielded, protected, and guarded. Normally I am not one for lots of plane flying – at all – but on each takeoff and on each landing, I knew – I just knew – that I was safe and my ancestors and relations were watching over me.
As for the statement you highlighted, THAT is where I want to get to: that place where I always go within and nothing shakes me. I know I have a long ways to go, but I’m definitely a long ways from when I started all this. I’m so excited to share this journey and inspire others to do so, too. And yes, it’ll mean charging for it, but it’s so I’ll be able to continue doing this work and sustain myself. The idea is that it will all allow me to keep going, to go on retreats and travels that will continue to awaken my spirit so that I can keep sharing – in a beautiful cycle.
You are one of the most peaceful and joyous people I know. I look forward to the continued journey and our walk upon it, my dear Dreamwalker. Sending you lots of love. Thank you for the heart-filled wishes of comfort. I have felt them.
Love and blessings,
Cynthia
Dear Cynthia,
You are such a positive role model of being mindful and peaceful in our hectic, high speed world.
Thank you for these words of wisdom and guidance.
Love and hugs, Maria
Mar – Thank you for your sweet words! I do try to live and model being zen and calm, while embracing the fact that I’m also quite imperfect and have plenty of moments of “not calm” – but then it becomes more about what I do in THOSE situations. Hehe. Thank you for coming by and sharing YOUR words of wisdom, too!