The Answers Lie Within
As you may know, I am in the process of completing my meditation teacher training. I am at the beginning of Week 4 (has it already been four weeks!?). This journey is quite profound. Words cannot capture the level of transformation I’m experiencing. I’m discovering the profound idea of how much “the answers lie within.”
I am going through purification (sort of like a mental detox which I will explain in a later post), and many realizations. I’m experiencing the present moment like I never have before. I am also more relaxed as a result of the meditation than I ever have been in my life.
Last summer I spoke about consulting your spirit council for answers. I have also discovered that we all have an inner knowing. We each have the knowledge inside that gives us answers – to become the best version of ourselves. It’s a matter of “touching the silence.”
In an effort to help convey this idea, I want to share a story – flash fiction style – of how we can be in the depths of our mind to experience progress. I wrote it months ago, but haven’t shared it. For the duration of my meditation teaching training, my posts may either be shorter, and there might even be a week that I am unable to post due to my coursework and studies. But for now, please enjoy. This story is not unlike some of the experiences I’ve either heard about with meditation, or in the realm of possibility for neat things that can happen.
The Answers
I pulled my sweater tighter around me. It looked like a large storm was coming in. I could see the wall of clouds from my rocky perch out on the ocean’s horizon. Usually the horizon was off in the distance, where infinite blue sky met infinite blue water. Today it was a gray blur where the tide met the sandy beach.
The logical part of me said I should leave. Get back to my tent. But my heart told me to stay. That something was waiting for me. What it was, I had no idea. But I knew I had to stay put.
The wind picked up. And no sooner did I get my rain jacket from my backpack, big, swollen droplets started to splatter on the rocks around me. At first, they were intermittent. But then their pace picked up. I vaguely wondered if my tent was secure enough. No matter. It would work out.
I don’t even know how I ended up here. But something pulled me to this spot. No, more like drew me. I couldn’t quite place it.
All my life I’d been searching. Searching for what to do. Who to be. What to do as a profession.
As the storm swirled around me, I cared not of the pellets of rain pattering against my face. Nor did I care about what could happen if I remained on the rock during a ferocious summer storm. It was only that now – the present – mattered. This moment.
I breathed in the air. The air smelled crisp and so clean, washed of its iniquities by the rain. It came on still harder now.
I was vulnerable on those rocks. Walking on top of them as their surfaces grew slick would be treacherous. Moreover, there were many of them to traverse to get away from the shore.
But then I heard something: “Stay.”
I couldn’t tell if I’d imagined it. I rubbed my eyes to clear excess water. My vision was distorted by continuous droplets mimicking tears.
“What is this?” I shouted to the sea and stood up, as if I could make the storm go away.
“Why am I here? What the hell does life want from me!?”
My own tears mixed with the water droplets. The mixture of hot and cold was a curious sensation.
I closed my eyes, and sat back down. I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them and rested my head. I let my mind clear out. Because, I could not, anymore. I was so tired. For months I’d been traveling. I’d find a place on the map, check an app on my phone for a free or nearly-free place to camp. I don’t know why. Something in my heart told me where to go. But after that, I had no idea.
I looked up. The rain still slapped at my face, but on the rocks, not too far away, was a human figure.
“Watch out!” I called immediately. “They’re slick! Watch your step.”
The figure walked toward me with impossible ease.
As it got closer, the recognition that came to mind made my breath catch. “Dad? But, you’re dead!”
The figure just smiled and continued to walk over the rocks, coming ever closer. I unfolded my legs and wiped more water off my face.
“How?” I asked.
I am not here, but I am not dead
He got to the rock right next to mine and put his arms on his hips. His smile was as wide as it could be. He seemed to have some sort of aura around his head. I could only look on, shaking my own head in disbelief while resisting the urge to throw myself into his arms.
“Son, I am not dead. I am not here, but I am not dead.”
I understood that his words were in English, but I did not comprehend them. “What?”
“You came here for a reason. You came here because you knew I’d be here.”
I opened my mouth to speak. Normally, I could process information just fine. This, however, felt like an overload.
“I want you to know something,” he continued. “I want you to know that you’re on the right path. Continue your journey. Look within. You must get still. And when you do, you’ll find the answers. The answers to everything you seek lie within. Never forget that I’m with you. Never forget that you can tap into this energy to understand.”
Was this my dad? The same person who was so gentle to everyone he met? The same person who seemed so wise to me when the world was so big and I was just a small child? He wore the same jeans I remembered him wearing – he used to love those. And a plain white t-shirt. The rain, however, had not touched his clothes. He was dry.
Look Within…
“Look within, Son. You have all the answers. Follow your heart. It will lead you in the right direction every time. And you will know the way.”
“Dad? I—“
I couldn’t finish my thought. A loud, electric crack burst across the sky. The rain stopped as quickly as it had started. I rubbed my eyes in an impatient attempt to wipe away all the water. Blinking rapidly, I refocused where my father stood.
Except now, the figure was gone. I stared at the space he’d occupied. My eyes fell to the surface of the rock where he was standing. I saw two feet-shaped dry spots on the rock where the rain had not gotten the surface wet.
There was so much more I wanted to say. I wanted to feel his embrace just one more time. Somehow, though, I knew what he meant. I’d see him again.
Dear Cynthia,
Today is the 8th anniversary of Mom’s death. Your story was published at the perfect time –
filled with healing comfort and hopefulness.
Your training sounds wonderful. I look forward to learning more from you, as your schedule
permits..
Love and peace, Maria
Maria – Your comment here is just…incredible. It’s like a dose of synchronicity here and, if I may, possibly a sign. I also hope that you were able to find some comfort and hopefulness in your day. 💜
As for the training – I am experiencing so many things – insights, revelations, learning experiences – I have been wanting to write a post about it, but then I keep thinking that perhaps I shall wait until the end…as if to come out of a retreat/cocoon. I suppose I’ll let my heart guide me on that one, but I truly cannot wait to share – if only because I want this happiness and blissful experience for everyone.
I hope you have a great remaining part of your week. You are an incredible, gifted person. May you always walk in the light.✨
Aw, Cyndi seriously had the hair on my arms raised and my heart in my throat reading. What a powerful experience and story and thank you for sharing as this would indeed be the ultimate I would suppose with meditation. That said, Happy Monday and many, many hugs my friend xoxo <3
Janine – hehe, you are a gem and thank you – always – for making me smile. I am thrilled you liked the story, and that it was good enough to evoke an emotional response: the goal of every writer. So, YES!! Thank you for that. 🙂 I was thinking about you the other day as I was reading – about the Catholic perspective and how it’s come more into play with the idea of meditation and the saints and mystics who practiced it. I may need to explore that in a future post. 🙂
Wonderful story and lesson.
Thank you, Brad. Happy Tuesday. I hope your week is going well❣️
I feel calmer just reading this, Lil Sis. Now to find the time, or make the time, to follow through on your suggestions. That will be a bit trickier. 🙂 Sending hugs over the Rockies your way.
Big Bro – ah, thank you. As for “finding the time” – you know, I’ll share a little thing I recently learned about this: allow yourself this time. Just five minutes. Actually, husby is not a meditator and with this experience, he’s been asking about it. On Friday, I’m going to sit down with him for just five minutes. In fact, incredible benefits happen in people who just sit for five or ten minutes a day. Incredible brain changes – that actually (and it’s scientifically-based) make your brain younger!! Such good stuff. And sending hugs BACK over those beautiful Rockies. 🤗
Your journey is one of enlightenment, Cynthia. I feel so fortunate to be sharing it with you. ‘Touching the silence’ is a deeply moving way to describe it, for it is the only way to touch ourselves. I share your joy of self-discovery, my sweet friend ❤️
Sweet Tina – such encouraging, incredible words. I am the one who’s fortunate that our paths have crossed. Your beautiful spirit helps light my path! The people I’ve met along the way have just motivated my heart to grow bigger and strive to be the best it can be – that “best version” that hopefully inspires others. Touching the silence – where nothing is everything – is becoming my world. It is the journey of a lifetime. Thank you, thank you for sharing this journey with me.💜🕉☮️
My heart to your heart, my lovely friend ❤️
I don’t post as often anymore but I write every day as often as necessary to work through what’s going on inside. It is a great tool as you said. I write long hand which requires focus. I’m glad you are getting to do all this training. Most of this was not in our field of consciousness oh, so many years ago. I wish I’d found it all sooner. I loved your story. No, they never really die. I still communicate with my mother on occasion. I do have my guides and trust them completely. They were Angels in my understanding.
Marlene – I completely support this writing habit of yours. Hehe. And long hand is fun – it gets you thinking a little differently about your writing. When I took my recent trip out west, I wrote in a journal because of the lack of internet access, and I had missed the connection to the paper and the “slower distilling” of my thoughts – everything becomes a little more purposeful. 🙂 I am grateful, GRATEFUL for the training I’m receiving. It’s an incredible journey. I’m so glad you liked the story. I feel like stories are more powerful than just telling people, “hey, our ancestors and relations are always around.” I truly believe a story has more impact. I’m sure your mama has so many beautiful things to say and that she’s so proud of who you are. I love your approach to life, friend. You are a bright light.
Thank you so much for your kind words, Cynthia. It’s quite the journey, this thing called life. Enjoy the ride.
Marlene – and thank YOU for being someone who inspires me on my journey. <3
“Look within…” – Such a powerful piece of fiction that is highly relatable, Cyndi! I wish you all the best with your continued training toward becoming a meditation teacher. I see you shining brightly in your upcoming role and feeling fulfilled. Your posts make me so happy xo
Christy – hey there, sweet friend! Yes – looking within. Thank you for your comment here: powerful piece of fiction – oh that just makes my heart soar because I really think that we need more stories instead of lots of non-fiction saying, “Yes, do this. Believe this. Follow this.” Stories help us relate to and explore these tougher questions and issues in this life. The training is going well. It’s incredible and intense but so mind-bogglingly awesome. 🙂 Thank you for your sweet words and comments – they mean so much to me. <3
So longed for my catch up here with you Cynthia, and at last I am here.. And not to be disappointed.. Such a powerful piece of writing.. And your words so true..
We do all have this inner knowledge, yet we have for the most part, lost our abilities to tap into our Inner realm of Knowing. All answers DO lie within us and are just waiting for us to be silent enough to listen to the the answers.. Some times we also need to pose the right questions too.. 🙂 And be prepared to be patient.. For not all answers come as we would like them too.. 😉
Thank you for taking me upon this visual journey that also took me deep within.. <3 xxx
Sweet Sue, thank you for coming up over here and for all your beautiful comments. I have been patiently waiting for your wonderful words of wisdom. I hope your visit to Scotland was well worth it, and that you feels relaxed. Thank you for your insights here. I wish wore people understood this inner knowledge of which we speak. It seems uncanny to me that we as humanity have all but lost the stability to tap into that inner realm. Somehow, the silence seems to scare people. Perhaps as evolved from our hominid ancestors, we took to noise and talking and chatter so much, we decided that it was okay to leave the “old instincts” behind. I dunno. But I feel like if we are do help ourselves, the planet, and everything around us, we need to learn to get in touch again with our inner wisdom and let our hearts guide us in the right direction. And you’re right about asking the right questions. In my meditation training, I’ve been doing meditations on “Who am I?” and not expecting an answer, but seeing how it manifests. Pretty powerful. 🙂
Thank you for your wisdom here. Sending you big hugs! xoxo
Yes Scotland was beautiful in so many ways.. Especially a long train journey we took through the highlands.. Instead of looking UP to the mountains we looked down .. Wonderful..
And yes we do need to go into the silence, within for ourselves… Its very important right now.. And I have been sleeping like never before.. And feel I gain lots of clearing in my sleep.. Waking up to feel refreshed and a warm glow.. And your replies also left me with a warm glow too Cynthia.. And gradually we get to know ourselves.. I hope to post something I wrote a few years ago which I tweaked a little very soon.. And I think you may resonate… 🙂
Have a fantastic week..
Thank you so much for all your other wonderful replies.. Loved them all.. But its late and trying to get around two more sites before I shut down or press publish.. LOL..Sending LOVE my dear friend.. Enjoy your new week.. xxx <3
Sweet Sue, what an incredible place you live in! A train journey to the highlands sounds like an incredible adventure! I love adventures like that. 🙂
The silence within is beyond words, isn’t it? It’s touching The Essence, the Great Beyond and it simultaneously gets more tangible the more times it happens in meditation. I took an ayurvedic test to see my dosha type and now that I know I’m a vata, I have been trying to really create a calming evening routine. When I do that, I sleep SO WELL. When I don’t, I do not sleep well. Haha.
And your posts are always enlightening, with special words that compel me – well, ALL of us – to read and aspire to do more for the world and each other. And thank YOU for all your wonderful replies. I’m a little behind in getting back to everyone this week – it’s been a busy week and I’m playing catch up. All in due time. I’m learning that from you: all in due time. 🙂 Sending you hugs!
Never worry about being late in getting back to reply, I am always in catch up mode lol.. And life, living and BEing come first these days with me also.. I spent all afternoon in WP yesterday and went on to prepare a gardening post for my garden blog.. I got so caught up in my reader and answering my comments I never even uploaded the photos I had prepared to my blog.
So here I am today, logged in again this afternoon in the hopes I post..
I did write something which came to me while in the allotment the other day.. So I will hopefully tie both blogs together in some way..
We can only stretch ourselves so far.. And we have to understand what our limits are or else we can snap! lol.. And So I take it a little each day now this blog-land.. And I think those who understand we get there when we get there, are our real WP family.. And understand. <3
So never feel rushed.. Enjoy your week..
LOVE and Mega HUGS xx <3 <3 <3
Sue – hehe, I hear you about catch up mode. The biggest thing I’ve tried to do while balancing my day job, my coursework, and my blogging is by keeping my mindfulness and meditation front and center. I’m now up to an hour and a half or so a day now: 1 hr in the morning and 20-30 minutes in the afternoon. I hope to increase the afternoon time, but probably after my coursework is finished. 🙂 And I can’t wait to see your garden posts and pics! You have the gardener’s touch. Between your back yard and the allotment, I just love what all you can do. The splashes of color, the nourishing food – it’s all worth it. 🙂 And now I return the advice: don’t worry about getting back to reply quickly. All in due time. Your beautiful gardens await! As do those of us who can’t wait to see what you’ve been up to. 🙂 Sending you hugs, dear Sue. May you walk in the light.