We Often Encounter Challenging People In Our Day-to-Day Lives
I often feel an innate need to be a light to others: to inspire them, to help them when they’re down. But I have my moments when I feel like it’s me against the world. I know there are so many lightworkers out there, but when we experience events in our daily lives, sometimes it can feel like we’re alone. So alone. We often encounter people who annoy us, frustrate us, or challenge our values. It can be a tough road, especially if we’re empathic.
I recently came across an article by Leo Babauta of Zen Habits: “A Practice For When You Find Yourself Annoyed By Other People.” It was interesting and well-timed. I felt a little bit of synchronicity. I had been walking my dog the other day (still getting those steps!) and wished aloud for a mentor to guide me in the way I was feeling at that moment.
People Are Like Rivers…
After I read that article, I kept thinking about the image of the river that Babauta alluded to in his writing. It left my mind filled with metaphors and similes that seemed to grow and feed off each other that ultimately led to the poem below.
The first three stanzas set the stage for a variety of circumstances in which we can feel annoyed or troubled by others. I thought of examples over the course of my life and my reactions to them. I am sure many of us can relate.
The poem “evolves” from there: I sort of weave a story of how I discover what’s happening in other people, and how to “fix” it. Indeed, we cannot fix others unless they fix themselves: the real fixing comes from within and that’s where I end the poem.
So much non-fiction writing out there exists about dealing with life’s challenges (take Babauta’s article, for example). The stories, art, and poetry on this site are my answer to those same questions, hopefully in a different and satisfying way.
I listened to calming, ambient music as I worked on this. I want to share one of those musical soundtracks with you. I invite you to play it as you read the poem. It can create a powerful mood.
I hope you enjoy. I would love to know if the poem and song resonate with you. Please let me know in the comments.
[bctt tweet=”A Poem For When Other People Annoy You” username=”n2itvnspiritual”]
I sat across from you and you smacked your lips.
I smiled at you and you just looked miffed.
I sent you an note and all I saw was a frown.
I talked about my ideas and you shot them down.
I worked so hard so you would be proud.
I thought I might have loved you but it was disallowed.
I tried to please you, but you would not be obliged;
It wreaked havoc on me when our worlds collided.
I felt your anger and your contempt,
Your voice thundered at my misstep.
I wanted to believe all your lies,
But the sad stories dwelled in your eyes.
Now I think of you like a river…
How many times I wanted to change you–
Not who you are, but the things you do.
It was your thoughts, words and actions
That caused me angst and emotional reaction.
I set out to rid the world of sadness,
I only wanted love, and light – no malice.
So every day I resolved to smile,
To spread benevolence for a little while.
It seemed the trolls upped their game,
To squash me down, with intent to defame.
I cried and was wounded but had to resolve
To keep my vibration high and to evolve.
I gave you so much positive energy,
But you absorbed it; I was only left with entropy.
I then understood that I could give no more
Than what was necessary – only what was called for.
I needed to preserve my feelings, my heart–
It’s for compassion – and for all that imparts.
I realized suddenly that you were suffering:
It was your own wounds that you were covering.
Now, I think of you like a river–
In one direction its waters shimmer.
To think it needed to change would not work:
The glimmers, ripples, and eddies are just your quirks.
I cause myself angst when I want to change
The essence of something not meant to be rearranged.
I found peace in accepting you as you are–
Imperfect and flawed, maybe a little bizarre.
This does not mean unconditional acceptance,
I just need to assert my independence,
To spread love as I can but if I am stopped,
I’ll move on to where I see the dam of love unblocked.
I’ll take refuge there and gather my power,
I’ll drink liquid love so that I’m empowered
To face the darkness whenever I need,
To be a light in a world that needs love, guaranteed.
I absolutely love this poem, Cyndi. Seriously as much as I try there are moments when certain people do get under my skin. So, I not only appreciate the advice, but the poetry to help, as well. Hugs once again and wishing on the best this week ahead now xoxo <3
Janine – thank you so much, friend! There are moments, aren’t there? The challenge is finding it in our hearts to still hold them with love and whew, I am still challenged by that, lol. I’ve had a great week. I hope you have, as well. Sending you big hugs!
I love the poem and music Cynthia. The poem flows nicely and I certainly agree that the most powerful thing we can do is accept others, allow space for their pain, and take care of ourselves too. Hugs, Brad
Brad – ah, thank you. 🙂 I definitely worked on the sound and the flow “muchly” hehe. I love the way you phrased that: accept others, allow space for their pain, and take care of ourselves, too – yes to all of that. The power of this comes when we can maintain that sentiment in any situation. I am so not there, lol.
I bounce between loving all and being annoyed by most. LOL I think I have some work to do, Lil Sis! But then, watching the news, it appears most of us have a great deal of work to do.
Have a superb Monday, dear friend.
Big Bro – EXACTLY. Hehe. This world. I at once love all the people and want to help, while I feel wounded and frustrated at the things we do. lol. We do have some work to do, but there is a lot of good in the world, too. I had a conversation with my mother and someone offered to pay for her groceries when she left her wallet in the car. Ah, we are capable of such profound acts of kindness…and profound acts of hate. The challenge is to inspire people to remain in a state of grace – of kindness. 🙂 Thank you always for your feedback and support, dear friend!
Beautiful poem. I’ve reached an age where I spend most of my time alone as I no longer have the energy for people who seem to work so hard to be annoying. The people that insist that it has to be their way to be done correctly. I just spend very little time with them. Life is too short to be exhausted by others. I’m going to pop over and take a look at all the interesting information you have shared here later today. Have a good week.
Marlene – thank you so much. Yes, the people who work hard to annoy us – we can limit our time around them. Yes. A valid way to do things. Sometimes their hearts don’t “get it” at that moment and place in time. In might be awhile before they do. But even in my 30s, this is why I’ve taken measures to be out in the world less – I need time to recover from all the energies I encounter during the course of a week. Home is my sanctuary. I hope you’ve had a good week! Sending you lots of hugs and healing light!
After a weird week, this poem and music was the cherry on top. So much heart, I love it! I can feel your emotion pour through your words and it’s beautiful. Keep shining that bright light. Big hugs and have a great rest of the week, friend. I’ll talk to you soon. xxxx
Sweet Melanie – thank you for your beautiful words. It has been an interesting week for you, I know. Hehe, I read this to a colleague and he said the same thing: “I can feel the emotion pour through the words!” Thank you, always, for your thoughts, encouragement and love. Big hugs to you and have a wonderful week!
Your poem and words Cynthia touched me deeply. I read while listening to that ambient music, so peaceful, and fitted perfectly with your words. both melancholy yet soothing and peaceful.
Our vibrations have been in sync yet again dear friend. And reading your reply to me over on my blog, it seems also our conversations have been upon the same topics as those who think violent means are the answer to peace.
I can not tell you how beautiful a poem that is, which so reflects how we have to allow others to be. Its not easy seeing the torrents of certain rivers crash over boulders, but each has to find their own course and flow accordingly.
Knowing that at some point they find there own level and will expand out into those peaceful pools of calm.
I found my own pool of calm in my creation, which I drew strength from.
Thank you for that piece of music.. It was a delight to listen to while reading.
Sending Love from my snowy world today xxx Love and Mega Hugs dearest Cynthia
Sue <3 xx
Sue, I have to say I can’t wait for you to come over after I’ve posted something. It’s kind of like you are my “heart gauge” in that because you are so intuitive and so in touch with Spirit, I can’t wait to see how you interpret things I write. The fact that you said my poem touched you deeply – well, I am deeply honored. I was thinking about synchronicity when I was over at your blog reading what you wrote. I wish – so wish – that people could just know and feel the self-love so necessary for peace. It is a challenge to let others “flow as rivers” because I catch myself wanting to change their course and actions…but then I remember how happy I am to just see an actual river that thoughts of wanting to change fall by the way. “Knowing that at some point they find there own leve and will expand out into those peaceful pools of calm” <– YES. That. You get this on such a fundamental level – this is something I adore about you. The things you create reflect an inner pool of peace that flows with absolute tranquility. And the Source from within. I never thought about the idea of “spirit source” and the source of a river before, but my goodness, that is such a perfect analogy: if we are rivers, then the Source starts from within. We are what we are – to accept ourselves and others, but to be able to gently purify the waters to emulate peace, well..that is a special gift.
As for the music – when I was typing the poem, I had some background music on and I heard this song. I knew it had to be paired with the poem. Sending you big hugs and I hope that all signs of spring are on the way to you. Sending you much love and light. Big, big hugs! xox
I often feel music inspires our thoughts and mood, I often play celtic music which takes me to another realm. And when I want inspiration I play native American Indian drum music, I have some original songs in their native tongue . And somehow it sustains me even though I do not understand their words, I feel their cries.
I thought long and hard about your poem, and you are right, each on their own particular river, each path flowing as it should.
I read at the end of last year a remarkable channelled book. I said I would share eventually as at the time we corresponded you were busy with lots of things I will email you the link for you to download either to kindle or Pdf.
In it, it shows how we are all playing our parts.
But spirit also say the best way we help is by changing ourselves, and trying not to take on board the world.. ( easier said than done ).
But if you take technology out of the equation, Negative communication would not be channelled into our own homes via the TV, radio, Computers etc. So we would be none the wiser.
And as our emotions escalate when we are seeing such things, like attracts like. So we amplify what is happening.
You have only to see what Gregg Braden said in his YouTube video about how our hearts caused a peak in the pulse of the earth on the day 9/11 happened. ( Have you seen that video? ) well worth a watch. I posted years ago.
So as our emotions join they are like the rain drops falling into those rivers which eventually will flood with too much rain.
The Arab Spring was one such flood in negative emotions as people revolted wanting change.
But by the same token I totally believe that if we find peace and share love and start to care and share, that too can escalate. Which is why I feel such tragic events often trigger compassion for a reason.
So looking at those who perpetrate such crimes can shed a different light upon things, Knowing as we know, Life after Life and our life before this life, and our in-between lives at some point we agreed! to be on our rivers, taking our place in its flow.
So do those who die agree to do so prior to coming, Do those agree to sacrifice their lives who do the killing, it opens up a whole new way of thinking. Mind boggling. For you think surely no child wants to suffer.. We can not get our heads around it because we are only thinking in our human terms of right and wrong.
And that is what I often find difficulty with.
Yet our life span here is but a blink, not even a blink in the time and cosmic scheme of eternity. We are in the kindergarten of our evolution. so primitive compared to what I have been shown and told.
And learning to Love ourselves is the hardest. I am still learning, still growing and at times I take two steps forward and one back, but all is helping us grow and find ourselves.
Oh so wish you were my neighbour.. Nothing ever would get done, for we would talk for hours to put ourselves and the world to rights..
Any way look out for that email this week, I won’t forget.
Sending love my friend.. Keep inspiring and look forward to your next post this week xx <3
Sweet Sue – I will respond more later, but just wanted to say that I love what you say here, and your heartfelt response. You have left me contemplating good thoughts and I’m so thrilled for these conversations. 💙💜🧡💛
Sweet Sue, I agree that music often inspires our thoughts and mood. I often put on empowering music when I drive to work. It gets me jazzed up for my day. When you say the Celtic music takes you to another realm, do you mean during meditation? Or do you mean just in general? So interesting. And you’re absolutely right about the native American music. It is so powerful. I have a couple CDs with music from a band called AIRO – American Indian rock opera. I love them and their music is really hard to find. And as far as my poem, I can’t tell you what it means to me that you have pondered this so. It’s one of those things when you know that someone else has read your work, and they are affected by it. It’s powerful stuff. I feel absolutely the same when I read your stuff, as well. I also look forward to seeing the link in the next email.
You’re so right about changing ourselves. I have wrestled with this idea over and over. When I think about the struggles that members of my family go through, for example, and I sometimes feel powerless to do nothing. Or I will see someone, and not being in a position to help. It tugs at my heartstrings.
This morning, I was following a man in the car whose tire was dangerously low. But we were traveling on the interstate, and it would’ve been too dangerous to try to get his attention without both of us taking our eyes off the road at such high speeds. And so, as I passed him, I immediately sent him love and light and wishes for protection that he would arrive safely at his destination. Later on, when I was going home, I did not see his car on the highway at all, so that made me hope that all was well. And in that moment,it was another illustration of learning to accept the situation as it is, or learning to accept the person as they are. There is a measured degree of happiness that comes from that: when we let go of our expectations, we make a room for the present, or, things as they should be.
This seems to be a lesson I’m supposed to be learning right now. In different areas of my life, I am really working on acceptance of different things. And as that one poem goes,”give me courage to accept the things I cannot change, but have the courage to change the things I can.” But it is so incredibly difficult sometimes, isn’t it? When I see people treating the earth as if it were a trashcan, or I see them killing bees, or I see them not caring about the plight of animals, my heart immediately goes into despair. I know that if I dwell on this, I will never emerge to a happy state again. And so, I try to put up a boundary, difficult as that may be, if but just to protect my own heart.
It’s knowing that there is a lot of good in the world. And I strive to focus on that good. And you’re right again: Life is a blink. I also like your analogy: we are in the kindergarten of our evolution. At what point do we actually become masters? At what point in the course of our thousands upon thousands of years of human history do we actually learn to come to peaceful solutions and resolutions that benefit all?
I do think that a lot of this stems from people having such a lack of love: for themselves, and for each other. So many people have lived through trauma. So many people do not have access to, or do not partake in educating themselves beyond what was required in school. Therefore, they’ve repeat the cycles that they grew up with, or are they remain mentally unstable, or their past envelops their mind. There is a way to heal people, but how to do it on a massive worldwide scale…
I wish you were my neighbor, too. The stories we could tell, the thoughts we could share, and just the beautiful words in the energy–I can only imagine! I am sending you so much love. I am sending you so much appreciation for your heartfelt thoughts. You have made me think and take a few moments to stop and reflect. I could just go over there right now and hug you! One day, I will!
The music takes me to a different realm, meaning I seem more in the zone of what I am doing, in a meditative state almost automatic, I do not stop and ponder and thing now what shall I do, I just do it. Though Cynthia I have had some meditative music take me into that other realm 🙂 where upon for a brief moment in time I have not wished to return. 😀
And your poetry is beautifully written, and this particular poem made me re-think my own over emotional reactions to the world and has helped me so much.. As like you the recent events of the world have triggered our emphatic selves in emotional responses.
Reading those very words .
“I’ll take refuge there and gather my power,
I’ll drink liquid love so that I’m empowered
To face the darkness whenever I need,
To be a light in a world that needs love, guaranteed.”
Seeing that we can best help the world by spending time spreading love, instead of feeling the wounds of others we are powerless to change.
So your poem speaks of how we have to accept and understand all we can change is Self, which is what this channelled book is about .. The book is fascinating and I will forward the link in email today Cynthia.. Its well worth it, and may challenge you yet again, but I feel you are ready to hear what it has to say.
Sending LOVE and Light my friend.. mega hugs for both your beautiful replies, Time is short on my LP today.. I have my acupuncture therapist coming today for my regular uplift 🙂 And will be resting away from the computer this afternoon..
love you dear friend.. You are very dear to my heart..
Sue <3
Sue – how wonderful. Yes…I am leading a centering for a staff meeting tomorrow and I thought I’d share some of my haikus, and play some music to create the mood. It’s amazing how it does that, no? It creates a feeling, a sense…
A Twitter friend shared a musical track with me. It’s “Lustmord – Dark Matter.” It seems a little creepy to listen to right off the bat, but I am open to trying it in meditation and seeing what happens. That’s the fun of trying different things. You never know where you’ll end up. 😀
The next part of your comment gave me chills. I’m not exaggerating. This is one of the greatest compliments a poet could give to another poet. I’m not sure you know just how much that means to me. You have made my week! I am not always sure where I’m going with my website, but I figure as long as I write from the heart, something’s going to come of it. I tire of reading so much non-fiction regarding these type of life lessons. That being said, I enjoyed Babauta’s article about dealing with people who annoy you. Rather than reiterate and rehash what he said, I thought I’d write a poem (and sometimes they take the form of a story or a meditation) that illustrated how this could work. As I look at that stanza you highlighted here, I’m compelled to write a part 2 of this: dealing with the fear of taking the world on. In that I mean I take refuge where I know I’m comfortable and safe, but I also know that I need to get out of my comfort zone and face my fears of people verbally attacking me online. I know I need to do this eventually. My heart and mind are not there, yet. But I came across a quote, just this morning about when you can learn to face the crowd, you go from being a sheep to becoming a lion, and then immediately I think of your painting. The lion is sleeping within me right now, but somehow I know I must figure out how to transcend that fear if I am to do good work – good spiritual work.
I also know that spreading love can be perceived as a threat to the world. Jesus never hurt anyone. Nor did Gandhi. Or Martin Luther King. Or John Lennon…and yet the world saw fit to silence them. Standing with love is a strong stance. It is only right, but yet it’s scary and takes courage.
The other day I got your email. I have been unexpectedly swamped with work-related things lately, but I will respond soon. Once again, you give me such great food for thought, and much to ponder. I love you for that!
I hope the acupuncture went well. You know, that’s something I’ve always wanted to try, but just haven’t taken the time to do so. Something else I want to try is the water levitation meditation (salt bath?) where you meditate in a pool, but it’s completely dark. They say that it’s an incredible experience. One of these days…there’s just so much to do in this life that does make it worth living…now to fit all the wonderful things in! Hehe. I’m sure you know all about that.
I hope you had a good, restful weekend. Sending you love and light and know that you are do dear to me, too!
Dearest Cynthia, I just popped onto my site today for a short time, and saw your reply. Good to know you got my email, and no worries on responding until you have time etc.
I have been out of sorts this past week and the acupuncture usually helps energise me, but to be honest for the first time I felt worse. My energy comes in small bursts and then I need to rest.
And I have felt inclined to turn off the modem, and even my phone I turned off. Then today as I logged into my computer my alerts from Youtube came in and one I follow whom I have shared before Lisa Transcendence Brown I have read one of her books, and excellent read about how we are changing and shifting .. Her video spoke of how bombarded we are right now by the ‘cosmic waves’ which are bringing up emotions and how many are finding it difficult. I have included a couple of sentences she posted on her Youtube site
“New atomic codes, powerful DNA re-codings, the physical body weakens when it’s breaking down linear constructs and rebuilding with Quantum ones.
Sleep, self-care, nature, organic and natural support… more important than ever. Read my recent writings (all of the years since 2012, all apply). ”
Made perfect sense to me as what she spoke about https://youtu.be/FWe11cyHEsg here. made more sense. Its thirty minutes long so I do not expect you to watch it unless you have time. But I could see why I had instinctively withdrawn for a while and I need to nurture and create. And just clear my head space for a while from my blog commitments.
I put my comments on manual moderate for a while and just need to clear out and refocus my own energy. I had instinctively begun doing what she said. and now understand why I feel so drained and ache as my body adjusts and clears out that which it needs to let go of.
So I hope dear Cynthia you will bare with me a while longer as I will be going into my silent space for a while until I feel able to focus again upon my blog. I need to paint, meditate and just be out in nature for the time being.
I am delighted that you are also focusing upon that which is bringing you joy.. We are journeying on our rightful paths.
Take care and much love dear friend.
Love and Light. Sue xx
Sweet Sue, thank you for your wonderful wonderful comment. I apologize for the delay in responding. Life has been suddenly quite busy. I have applied to the meditation Institute, and have an interview coming up. Husby and I have taken a little time to go skiing here and there. Just to get outside a bit. I’ve been working extra days at work, and doing a website redesign. This is why I have not responded yet. That’s interesting to hear about the acupuncture. I have heard that some people respond so well, and others not so much. But, you make me think that it’s all about energy. I hope that you get to be feeling well soon. I admire you for stepping away from technology, the modem, and your computer. I often find myself at a crossroads between needing to use technology each day for work, and trying to grow my website, and still find a mind full balance with everything. It is not too often that I get to step away, and it makes me think of that I really need to plan some time away from technology. In a couple weeks, I will be traveling to see some family, and perhaps I will be “Forced” to give up my technology time considering that we will be in remote parts of the country. This will be good for me, even though I am visiting ailing family members, and there might be times when it could be a little hard. I remember you sharing some video links about Lisa Transcendence Brown before. I have watched a few of them. I need to check her out again. And you know, it seems so interesting and so fitting what Lisa says. All that’s happened since 2012. It’s fascinating. And you aren’t so in tune with what’s going on in the world even if you don’t know why. I am deeply impressed by that.
I am not sure what I’m going to do with the video creation and with my website in the two weeks that I will be traveling. I am tempted to turn everything off and not worry about it. But there’s the other part of me that won’t be able to resist checking in from time to time whenever I have an Internet connection. I guess we’ll see how it goes. And you going into a silence space for a while? I am so glad that you do this. It is something that I am aspiring to do. Ha ha! I hope your painting has been going well, and that you have had lots of time to meditate, and that you are getting outside and enjoying the start of spring. Perhaps I will take my dog for a walk after I finished a few of these emails. Sending you love and light, and wishes for a healthy spring equinox coming up! And more big hugs.
This was so inspiring to read! Thank you for sharing such a beautiful poem. We can’t change others but we can change out attitude. Have an awesome day! 🙂
Hi there, Cristina. Thank you for your sweet words and I’m so glad you found this inspirational. My intentions exactly. Hehe. You “get” it: we can’t change others, but we can change how WE look at things. I hope you have a fantastic week! ✨💫🎆🎇💛🎇🎆💫✨